Dearest Momma,

This past year has been filled with a lot of different emotions. In the beginning, I felt torn, worn down, and helpless. I had to remind myself constantly that there is only so much you can do to help someone, when they aren't willing to help themselves. I use to hold my breath, not knowing the kind of mood you'd come home in, or how you'd react to any given situation. I wanted so badly for you to want to change, but it didn't happen. Until one day, it did. 

I remember my heart dropping to the floor as soon as my sister told me what happened. Come to think of it, I don't think I picked it up for a while after that. I just sort of left it there on the ground, collecting dust and adding to the scratches and cracks that already existed. I walked though the world as a ghost for the month following that phone call. I couldn't help it. So much had happened and at first, I didn't know how to handle it all. I was so angry, but so upset and scared. I didn't know how to express that all while still attempting to maintain a strong exterior for my sisters.

You're a completely different person. You now remind me of the mother you were when I was a little girl. You're so lighthearted, kind and carefree. I knew you were there, under all the layers of pain you had experienced. I knew that you used alcohol to numb the pain at first, and then after you got used to the numbness, it turned into an addiction. I've accepted that I wasn't enough to make you change, that we all weren't. I've accepted that this was something that you had to do for yourself. I'm just happy now that you have, changed that is. Now, 7 months later, I can honestly say that after everything, it's a relief to be able to breathe again. I even picked my heart up from the floor. 

I'm reminded of how lucky we are to have you back. No matter what this past year has put my sisters and I through, you're finally back with us and I couldn't be happier.