My Sisters, My Blessings

Not everyone is blessed with a sibling,  let alone three. And especially not sisters like mine. I consider myself lucky. Not only for having sisters, but for the relationship I share with each of them and the bond we all have. 

My sisters are my best friends.  I can tell them anything and know that they won't judge me, but try to understand and respect where my head is at.

Megan has the largest heart of anyone that I have ever known.  She feels everything so deeply. She's always looking to help in anyway she can. If that means buying a homeless man a burger and chasing him down to give it to him, or just smiling at every stranger she sees in hope that it will make their day a little brighter. She always tells me the bitter truth, no matter what and I love that. No matter what happens between us, I can always count on her.

Paige is wise beyond her years, and she's aware of it. But she doesn't let that stop her from still being a teenager.  She has a beautiful soul filled with independence and the lust for exploration.  I can't wait to see how she takes the world by storm and the woman she becomes.  She is always inspiring me to go after my dreams and aspirations and to never hold back.  I am so grateful for her and the way we can relate to each other on the level we do.

Hailey is still so young and innocent.  She doesn't know how the world is yet and that makes me happy that she still has the time to remain a kid. I'm glad that she has 3 older sisters who will show her the way as she grows, and who will teach her that she is her own person and that is what makes her beautiful.  That, and her unconditional love. 

My sisters are what matter most to me in this world. I know that with them by my side, we can handle anything the universe has to throw at us. And that is what makes all the struggles worthwhile. 

Don't Be Afraid

When you say your thoughts out loud,  they automatically become more real than you ever imagined they really were. You can only keep your thoughts hidden within your mind for so long. The longer you keep them hidden, the worse you will handle them when they finally come to light. 

I've had first hand experience with this. Correction,  I am currently having first hand experience with this. Even though I shouldn't,  I'm one to keep my feelings hidden under lock and key.  I'm always scared to release them, scared of what doors they will open,  or close. 

It will be one of the hardest things I will ever do, but it is only one small part of my life. One chapter,  maybe two. But it will not consume me. 

Why shouldn't we all spend the majority of our lives being true to ourselves and what we feel is right in our hearts?  There is no reason why not.  Not one. On that note,  I hope you do as I am choosing to do and release your feelings. Don't leave them contained any longer.

I Want to Know You

I want to know you, I mean really know you. And I don't mean what you do for a living, or your favorite food.
What makes your blood boil?
Your stomach ache?
Your heart race?
What crosses your mind in the middle of the day?
What makes you so happy that your eyes crinkle at the corners and your mouth forms more lines at the edges?

Because, I want to know you.

How do you like your eggs and how do you take your coffee?
What's your favorite song?
Do you play it too loud so you can feel it down to your bones?
Who or what inspires you?
Who's your favorite author?
Do you get lost in his words?
Are you lost already?

Because, I want to know you.

Do you drink now to forget or for no reason at all?
Has your past made you, or broken you?
Where are your scars, what stories do they tell?
What keeps you awake at night, staring endlessly into the darkness?
Whats the last thing that crosses your mind before you close your eyes?
Will you tell me?

Because I want to know you, I mean really know you.

Why Do You Write?

Writing is my release, simple as that. I write for many reasons.  I write to try and let go of all that I'm holding onto inside. I write because it feels good, to let words flow across the page. It feels like I am truly creating something beautiful, and I love that. I love the feeling of creating art and having all come from my fingertips. 

But the main reason I write is because I truly want to reach people down into their soul.  Like your favorite song, no matter if it's the 1st, 5th, or 30th time you've heard it, that song still gives you chills and makes you feel something deep down. That's how I want to affect people.  I want them to feel as though they've just listened to their favorite song when they read my work. I just want to create an impact.

And for that, I won't stop until I reach people. And why should I, why should you?

Ps, Pardon my French on my picture. It fit too well to not post it.

Downtown. October, 2014.

These are a few shots I took last weekend when I went on my own little adventure downtown. I did a little exploring and it was completely worth it. Time spent with just yourself is so crucial. If you can't enjoy your own company, how is anyone else supposed to?

It Starts With You

Looking back through all of my journal entries prior to this year, I have a number of mixed emotions. Pity, surprise, joy, disappointment, etc. Although, the most overwhelming emotion I have is how proud of myself I am.

I am so proud of the independent woman I have become. It was a change that I didn't realize was occurring, but that's the beauty of it. I know that I've come a long way; been through my fair share of life's difficulties. But I am not broken. I consist of many scratches, some cracks and even a few missing pieces, but I am still whole.

I came across a quote that fit this post so perfectly:

If that's not one of the truest things I've ever read, I don't know what is. It really does start with yourself. Most days, I don't give myself enough credit. So I have to continuously remind myself that, I don't need anyone to take care of me. I never really did.

No matter what anyone tells you, you don't need anyone to take care of you. That's what you have yourself for. If there's anyone you can fully depend on, it's you.